May 9, 1996

Dear Old Mom Is Baking Virtual Cookies

By LISA NAPOLI

Christine Thompson / CyberTimes

nce upon a time, long ago, before every commercial on TV ended with a Web address and any ol' person could register any ol' domain name, corporate types scratched their heads and mused incessantly about How to Get Women on Line. They brought in consultants. They summoned focus groups. They talked and talked and talked.

And lo and behold, while they were strategizing over their high-priced catered lunches, women were doing just what the executives were scheming to get them to do -- not because of all the scheming, mind you, but because of good old-fashioned curiosity. And because of their kids.

What those women were doing was -- and is -- what moms have done for time eternal: commiserating, bragging and doing fun projects with their children. In the digital age, baking cookies has been replaced by scanning family photos with your 5-year-old and cobbling HTML. How '90s!

This Mother's Day, whether you are a mom or just have one, perusing moms' home pages is clearly the vogue way to celebrate. Each page is as unique as the mom herself.

The Grumpy Old Housewife is Donna Harlow, a mother of seven from Salt Lake City and a younger, Mormon take on the late Erma Bombeck. In essays with titles like, "Ballpark dad is way off base," "Carpets got cleaned . . . and so did we" and "Old boyfriends never die -- but did my kid have to meet one?" Gelter recounts in cornpone style the joys and nightmares of a large family.

"I used to marvel at two women I knew who did the job thing, the immaculate house thing, the school thing, the church thing, the civic duty thing, the happy marriage thing -- and still looked perky and well-groomed all the time," Gelter writes. "I felt inadequate in comparison until I learned that they both lived on Prozac and anxiety pills."

In her Diary of a Mad Housewife, Annie Boscio of New Jersey wonders, "Where have all the stay-at-home moms gone?" Her answer is offered in the form of an accompanying picture of a computer with the caption, "They're in there."

Charmingly self-aware and self-deprecating, Boscio apologizes on her "Obligatory Who I Am Page" for calling herself a writer when she hasn't been published. Her colorful pages highlight her son Andy's computer art, and link to her Uncle Tom's model train site.

Tane Tachyon in Santa Cruz created her Web site, Tachyon Labs to rate games, from the old classics like pick-up sticks to the computer kind. Color commentary is provided by her son, Sam.

"If you don't know how to play croquet very well, and you're playing with a grown-up, let the grown-up go first," Sam advises in one deft analysis. "They'll probably be able to show you how to swing right and how to get good aim."

Artmama features a gallery of "images and pages related to mothers, babies, children and nursing."

Sam's mom invites you to send e-mail if you want to come over and play games with the family -- but only if you're a local. ("I mean, I like getting mail from Sweden, but it's not practical if you're far away.") She invites personal friends who don't have scanners to send her pictures to be scanned.

Some moms avoid the coffee klatch approach. Artmama features a gallery of "mothering images" and links to filmmakers whose work focuses on families.

The oMEGa female is another cyber-earth-mother. Quoting Patti Smith and Leonard Cohen, she muses: "When the world says left, my body moves right. I can't help it. I was born with the buck-against-authority gene. But I'm functional. I mean, I'm not some lurker in the shadows of the station shouting prophecies of doom."

Yes, but dare we believe her? The oMEGa female also claims that kindred spirits' brains are divided into three sections -- spirituality, physics and Star Trek.

Mary Dixon laments that the digital age has really cut into her social life, which apparently revolved largely around gala celebrations of plastic kitchenware. "I'm getting tired," she confesses, "and I've been spending soooo much time on the computer that I don't know if I'll ever have the energy to have another Tupperware party anytime soon. To make up for it, I'll share this link to the Tupperware On-Line catalog."

Some postings make you wonder whether parenting should require a license. Consider this question from a mom-to-be on the misc.kidsFAQ: "While I'm well aware of the many sacrifices involved in child-rearing, I'm at a loss when it comes to the upside of raising a family. Can anyone remind me of some of the positive things I have to look forward to?"

Dozens of moms -- and dads -- respond with the hopeful news that parenting isn't all drain and no gain. She could have found that much out by surfing.

---

Related Sites
Following are links to the external Web sites mentioned in this article. These sites are not part of The New York Times on the Web, and The Times has no control over their content or availability. When you have finished visiting any of these sites, you will be able to return to this page by clicking on your Web browser's "Back" button or icon until this page reappears.

The Grumpy Old Housewife (Donna Harlow)

Diary of a Mad Housewife (Annie Boscio)

Tachyon Labs (Tane Tachyon)

Artmama (Jeanne)

The oMEGa female (Meg W. Stein)

Mary Dixon

Tupperware On-Line catalog

misc.kidsFAQ