I’m really enjoying a bunch of new media/web 2.0/social networking sites. My love for Twitter has been well documented. I use del.icio.us for all my bookmarks and to find new sites. My email, my calendar, an increasingly large percentage of my documents, lists, and of course the RSS feeds I read are housed with Google. I pop into Jaiku now and then, and I love checking out the latest photos from my Flickr friends.
Despite all that, there are two huge social networks I’m not jumping into quite so quickly. One is Second Life. The reason here is simple- I know I’d get sucked in and love it, and I just don’t have time for a new obsession right now. I suppose I could drop Twitter, or all the blogs I read, or TV watching (the little that I still do) or reading (again, the few books I read anymore) but better that I just sit out here in First Life for now.
Then there’s the other, Facebook. My son joined Facebook as a college freshman last year, and while I don’t have access to his page, a few of his friends left their’s public so I got a general idea of what they were doing with it. Plus when he’d be home his pc would always be on one of three screens- iTunes, Yahoo Sports, or Facebook. His friends list included cousins, elementary school classmates, friends of friends. It seemed to be a terrific site for kids to stay in touch and keep up with each other’s comings and goings.
A couple months ago a bunch of my new-found Twitter friends signed up for Facebook, and I did, too. We friended each other, and I looked around for other people I might know.
Let’s keep in mind, of course, that I am old.
A check of my email contacts pulled up four names in Facebook. One was my son, one was my nephew and the others were family members my age who never really set up profiles. One used her maiden name for some reason, I think she was probably spying on her kid’s friends :).
A search through my high school class turned up zero hits. A search for the college I graduated from and other I attended briefly turned up zero hits for my class.
I searched under a former employer who isn’t even doing business in this region anymore, just in case… and zero hits. Not sure why that employer was listed, then?
As with Twitter, none of my Real Life friends are interested. I might be able to bring in a few old Internet friends, but I don’t have my hopes up for that.
Then there’s the Mom Factor. Most of the people singing the praises of Facebook don’t have college-aged kids already using it. I joined a few groups like “Facebook Moms” or some such but I still felt like I was that mom- the one who sits down in the middle of the party with her kids? The one who answers a call for her kid then proceeds to pepper the caller with questions, trying to be a buddy? And I’m just not that mom. I don’t have any desire to hang out with my kids’ friends. I like to know what they’re doing, sure, but I don’t necessarily want to do it, too.
Obviously my son agrees, since he rejected my Friend request.
And then there are all the new addons and gadgets and virtual gifts. Cute, fun… useful? I don’t know. Too much clutter, too much pressure to participate. Maybe if I didn’t have this blog, which I use as my virtual life hub, I’d be more attracted to using Facebook that way.
My son’s reaction to all the new bling? It’s too much. He liked logging on, checking his wall, seeing what was going on, and moving on. Now he’s got requests to add applications, his friends pages are so busy he can’t find the basics- he’s losing interest in using it at all. It’s losing it’s effectiveness as a tool, because it takes too much of his time and energy (which he’d obviously rather spend over at Yahoo Sports!)
I’ll hang on to my account, and keep friending people I know. In fact as I’ve been writing this I friended two more Twitter pals! It still functions well as a way to keep in touch, and I bet as time goes on I’ll use it more. I do like that the friending has to be mutual, so I only let in people I actually know somehow. I guess I’m just not sure how useful it is for me.
PS - this is post 100 on this blog! Left the old one and never looked back :).
4 Comments
I am a mom of two 20 something daughters…They both had MySpace before MySpace was cool with all of their friends. Their friends kept after me to create a MySpace account..I have one, it’s private and I have several of their friends listed there. Both kids have me listed as number two and three on their friends list. It has been a way to keep track of them at school and now with my oldest moving in Hawaii.
Facebook has always been their space and I have kept out of it. I think there are things that moms don’t want to know, I respect their space and I appreciate that they respect my online space. (The idea of reading my knitting blog has never appealed to them, but they do read the blog that I write for work.)
I created a Facebook account as the beginnings of testing the waters on campus. I know that there are lots of people who use it to spy on thier kids…I like my open and trusting relationship with them just fine–I don’t need to go poking around in their corners of the world.
:o)
Ann
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I joined fb in response to the platform/app brouhaha, so I didn’t see it before. I think they’re going to have to come up with a UI solution to accommodate all the new apps, because as it stands, it’s the first social network by which I’ve actually felt somewhat overwhelmed. Maybe tabs or something, like other personalised start page services use (Yahoo!, Google, NetVibes, etc.), something that will let users keep their “home” page as simple as it once was without losing the functionality of the apps.
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My son’s been on Facebook since the days when you had to have a college email address to join. While he gives me glimpses of his page when he’s home, he has specifically asked me NOT to join. I’ve respected his request.
If and when our daughter signs up for MySpace, you can bet I’ll be signing up to check up on her occasionally!
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With all respect to my Facebook buddies, but to all those who ‘request’ to be my friend because you like My Profile I say: let’s not get carried away here. I usually don’t make friends because we once had the same boss, share a Hotmail contact or because, spare me, you “poke” me. P - e - lease.
If you want to be my friend, come and meet me in real life. Let’s have a chat. Err, down at the local pub I mean. Yours or mine. Or join me on next weekends’ bushwalk around the Inner West Bay!
What is so social about Facebook, or MySpace, or Bebo or Linkedin anyway? Social. Noun: a party of people assembled to promote sociability and communal activity. Adjective: 1. marked by friendly companionship with others; “a social cup of coffee”;2. living together or enjoying life in communities or organized groups; “human beings are social animals”; “spent a relaxed social evening”. (Source: World Reference. http://www.wordreference.com/definition/social)
The good news is that there’s a bit of a counter reaction happening. In Australia for example, where a relatively new site called Getalife.com.au is connecting people to meet for a realcup of coffee. Or for a game of soccer at Centennial Park, or a games night at Chris’ place. Or a poke at mine
Simply put, Getalife.com.au offers easy to use tools for people to connect based around sporting, cultural or recreational activities. The activity might be a one-off, like finding a couple of buddies for a kayaking trip up Brisbane River. Others get together regularly, like reading groups. If members can’t find what they’re looking for, they can create a group or activity of their own and invite others to join.
In Australia at least, it seems that Getalife has struck a chord in the hearts and minds of ordinary city slickers who are not seeking to build virtual friendships by ONLY spending time on a computer. Instead, they are people look for alternative, contemporary and independent ways to connect with people in real life, get involved in a wide range of activities, meet people and find friendships (or even love) on their own terms.”
In the age of pokes, cyber kisses, spam and the tons of sleaze and phony member profiles dumped on us, Getalife offers a refreshing alternative to get you personally invited by real members to real events. Not because you’re on an bulk mail list, or because you fit the profile of some sales campaign, but simply because the organiser of the event enjoys your company… in the flesh!
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